A Trending Experiment With Falling In Love

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I figured if I was going to spend my time confronting this trending article(at least it seems to be trending on Facebook) on a few friend’s posts, I might as well make it official and transfer my thoughts into a blog before the CPU within me becomes worn of this subject, right?  Too bad!  I’m going to go ahead and do it instead of waiting for your response, haha.

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http://tinyurl.com/mmmd86p )

The woman who wrote about this experiment shared her perspective and her actual personal experience.  Her having a great personal experience with such an approach is fantastic, but not likely to create stable, long-lasting relationships the majority of the time in my mind for a few discomfiting reasons.

I honestly didn’t identify this experiment as anything too fascinating.  I say this simply because this article represented a nice realization that we can all feel close to each other as human beings, like we should all naturally do in the first place with each other, but barriers like societal assumptions, work and technology nourish the consequence, i.e., us all becoming very strange to each other. The more that worldly things take over our lives (like technology), the more amazing it will all seem when we partake in such an experiment as this, making it seem like we attain a much more profound connection with somebody else.

When I read this article, flashes of the animated movies “Frozen” and “Wall-E” came to mind.  “Frozen” came to mind because such a process reminds me of when the little sister is pretty much cooped up in the castle most of her life trying to reach out to her older sister, and then once they have this grand even at their castle, when she talks with the first guy who gives her obvious attention, she instantly falls madly in love with him, simply because he’s charismatic and they have a couple things in common, not to mention she has focused most of her life on her sister which makes their meeting seem so much more intense. This last reason is why I think of “Wall-E” as well.  All those silly humans planting their faces on those screens 99.99% of their lives, being consumed only by the technology right in front of their noses, that when they finally look away(to another human being for example), what they see and experience seems wildly and overwhelmingly grand.

I think the more our word develops, the more shocking such reactions will become and it will come to a point where we’ll crave it so badly and think it’s so super special that we automatically think it’s falling IN love or TRUE love.  I think it’s awesome how this psychologist helps people realize everyone else is just as deep as themselves, helps us care about each other through the opportunities of developing compassion for them, but I don’t think these things equal true love/being in love. I see it as just respecting, accepting, and feeling for the human race as a whole, something basic that nearly all of us lack in some ways.

I’m definitely not partial to the idea that there is no very special connection between someone in love according to the one presenting this research. If it was truly special, it would be impossible to happen with anybody else, or at least very many people at all, at least in my views.  I’m also concerned with the placebo effect such an experiment can have on many people.  As many of us realize, when a product is hyped-up enough(especially when it comes to something as enticing and important as love), we can feel like we’re getting a high when in reality, we just got a needle full of diluted sugar.  The beauty of psychology!  We desire love to be sweet, but it indeed needs to amount to more than a sprinkle of sugar in our lives.

These are the reasons I think this experiment wouldn’t be very effective for long for most people.  In summary, I think this is more about our lack of general connectivity with the human race, and after that matter, it’s about whether or not being in love is truly special. If you believe it’s not very special at all, then you’ll likely believe it can happen with nearly every being we can lay eyes on.

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Dealing With Such An Ugly Pair

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Assumption and judgement, what a pair.  You could say that I consider them ugly cousins.  These are a couple of darknesses that seep out of so many of us.  I’d be curious to corral 1,000 random people of the world and inquire of them what their own personal definition of hate is.  I’d imagine that a handful of them would give me such deep answers or perspectives from intriguing angles to the point of giving me goosebumps.  That would be such a highlight.  Though, I’d also imagine most people giving me their definition and then witnessing a glimmer of false pride in their eyes as if no such thing seeps from them in the least. 

Hearing me say that people shouldn’t look at being wrong as a bad thing might make some people raise an eyebrow, but I hope the lot of you would agree.  Being wrong translates into you having the option to wipe your slate clean.  Wiping the slate clean doesn’t have to be this wildly life-changing event.  We should be and can be willing to wipe our slates clean repeatedly in numerous compartments of our lives.  You can’t build a building by just setting one fully built down on level ground, it has to be built brick by brick.  It makes me wonder why such a simple idea is surpassed as often as it is.

 Hate is usually in the smallest actions, the shortest sentences. A few of those a day from millions of people, and what do you have? The source of humanity’s decay. There will never be any peace in this world unless you search within yourself, yank all those nasty hidden leeches out of you and burn them with your passion and determination.  No, not hand them on over to your enemies, burn them.  People that have been eaten away to a greater extent need even further consideration, even further reflection.  
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Are You As Honest With Yourself As You Think?

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Some of you have likely been called a “sheep” on the internet or have seen somebody else feel the wrath of such a word.  While I promote individual thinking that is not so black and white and I promote the intention behind people who strive to assist in bringing this sort of thinking out of others… it’s probable that none of us are even correctly equipped to do so.

Not only do I have an issue with the fact that mere HUMANS are the ones assessing the worth of fellow humans, but I also have an issue with the ones who seem to have no desire whatsoever in building up their community, instead, tearing it down piece by piece, adding to the disaster.  How are they doing this?  They do this by adding a dash of condescension, a sprinkle of sarcasm, and a pinch ad hominem.  To put it simply, you cannot instill these poisons to your approach if you want to do any good.  This poison will overcome the good cause you believe you’re spreading all around.  Who desires to lay their hands on something dipped in poison?    I think we all can admit that we have never been “won over” by such a silly approach, sheep or no sheep.

Not only is it pointless and poisonous that we’re so cynical with others instead of looking inside ourselves further, we have to realize that yes, there is such a thing as “sheep”, but then there are also many people who go through such extremes of being “different” JUST so they aren’t comparable to something familiar.  With either path you take, you are susceptible to losing yourself in the process.   Maybe instead of losing yourself though, what you could actually be doing is finding yourself.  There is such a fine line.  We should delve into this even further.

Us humans are quite fond of sniffing out certain traits of each other, certain mannerisms, certain personal tastes to use against each other, just so we can corral everybody into our tiny labeled compartments so that it “all makes sense”.  Does it sincerely make sense that they “do this because they like this” or that they “are this so they must be this” because those statements are truths within themselves or is it just that they make sense because you shaped them to fit in your narrow compartment?  Let’s use some examples that are a bit more clear, “you’re a democrat so you must be ___”, “you live in Mississippi so you must think ___”, “you listen to this music so you must lack in ___”.   The main point of one person labeling another fellow human being a “sheep” is to make it known that this person is “brainwashed”.  I have to admit, I consider most of America to be severely brainwashed by the media and society, but “brainwashed” is a term that is pretty shapeless and could be taken to many great lengths.  Can “brainwashed” truly be defined?

So, this begs the question, if you were diagnosed with amnesia, were put in a room full of many different styles of clothing and a radio with thousands of varying CD’s beside it, could you honestly vow that you would pick out the exact same style of clothing you’re wearing now or the same exact music you listen to now?  Would you even have the same standards or limits that you possess right now?  This is what I think of when someone uses such shapeless words with such hostility, with such negativity, it’s all so hopeless.  Yes, they are merely words, but what I’m truthfully concerned about here is the person behind hostile words, phrases with ill intentions, what kind of character they possess or the deliberate actions they take in this world.  On a more personal level, the level that ties us all together, how are YOU useful in this society?

“We blame society, but we are society.” – Anonymous.

Don’t Gather Into The Coagulated Mass

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We might want to reconsider a common phrase of ours… okay, quite a few phrases of ours, but we’ll get to the rest eventually.  This specific one I’m tackling is overused usually around election time and has been phrased in various ways.  So, maybe we should tackle it as an idea rather than words because we all know how empty words can be.

I often witness someone puff on their cigar through a cheesy grin while they run their thumbs back and forth underneath their tattered suspenders as they say something along the lines of, “”Whoa! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.”  This is a massive issue that needs addressed within ourselves.  You cannot gain true knowledge or wisdom without fully opening every vessel to your mind.  Where did we adopt this idea that we should filter before knowledge even looks our way?  Let’s soak up every perspective at least partially, prior to filtering it out and sweeping it under a rug.  Can you honestly say you can genuinely grow otherwise?

May I also bring to the surface that it seems that according to a couple studies, many of us are indeed moved in some way by our social circles when political issues are presented to us?  According to my research, it completely depends on the way the majority of us are approached.  One approach may lead us down a newly paved political road, while another approach will completely backfire as we psychologically cling onto our beliefs even tighter.  Either way can hold the exact same data or knowledge, but it’s all in the approach according to the Pew Research Center and the University of Michigan.  This does not infer that we have to be limited by even this much though if we as a human race continue working on ourselves

I believe an Unknown fellow laid it out best, “You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

We can’t possibly believe that every single thought or idea outside of our own, even ones that we haven’t yet reached, is inherently wrong in every way.  I, along with many others throughout this world are walking proof that we can step out of our little black and white box, pat the prideful lint off of our sleeves, straighten the obnoxiously stubborn creases out of our trousers, and progress.  I have altered my views politically quite a few times when proven wrong or when I have been enlightened further.  I have also done some fine-tuning with my spiritual/religious beliefs within the past few years as well.  This is all okay, I came out alive, even more-so.

Yes, naturally, it would have to take a heck of a lot for me to let anything new in that doesn’t at least somewhat fit my belief system.  I have my priorities, and no human should be able to shake your priorities or your core.  There is a difference between cleaning and straightening up stitching and tears through re-upholstery compared to taking a sledgehammer to your roof, walls, flooring, & plumbing.  🙂

http://www.pewinternet.org/2012/09/04/politics-on-social-networking-sites/

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~nyhan/nyhan-reifler.pdf

Words Hold Immense Power Because Society Told You So

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You cannot tell someone how to aesthetically present themselves, you cannot tell someone how to use a word, you cannot tell anyone these things with any rationalization. It doesn’t matter what race you are, you do not have the right of any influence whatsoever. It doesn’t matter what culture you’re imbedded in, you can dress whatever style you please and use whatever label you so choose. People, you have the freedom to choose to be a good person and also choose to use words in harmless ways. What you put into a word is all that’s there, the rest is in the imagination. Do not let words have power over you or assume your words have power over others. Too many people are skiddish with words, words that some ancestor a thousand years ago made up or words random teenagers made up a couple decades ago.

Words are empty and a person has the right to instill their own personal angle into any word they please. Yes, I’m referring to words that are usually dubbed as potentially offensive, words that were whipped up by imperfect humans, or meanings & intentions that strangers strive to stuff your face with- acting as if you put it all there yourself. People either use their own interpretations of words for harmless fun or to think outside the box with good intentions. Yes, there are people out there who do it sarcastically or to troll, but we have no clue which ones. Why continue to strangle each other with words that are man-made? Why do we limit ourselves to this? Why can’t we turn our focus to the things that truly matter, people who hold for us that mysterious thing called love or life-threatening events in our country or other countries that are laughing at us behind our backs right now?

If you cut out letters of a word from a newspaper and scattered them on a desk, that word has no power, correct?  If you aligned these letters together to make sense, that word still holds no power.  If someone walks by, sees that word on the desk and reads it out loud, that word still holds no power.  Don’t ever let people who only see in black and white, who think only inside a small box that they have let society build for them, who live to sniff out every obscure crevice for a sign of potentially imperfect intentions tell you what actions to take or tell you specific ways you should be feeling through these words.

Know that only you know your true intentions, and that is all that will ever matter.

World Hijab Day

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Muslim women wear hijab because they feel it pleases God/Allah, Christians(and other religions) are allowed to do things we feel pleases God, they should be allowed to in peace as well.

So, I went to the store alone wearing this(I tried to find the loosest clothing I had). I always say hi to a dozen random people(give or take a couple, haha) and give compliments every time I go out somewhere. It’s rare that I don’t get a “hello” back and this time only 1 out of 10 people replied with a greeting of any sort, the others turned away and said nothing. No, I’m not saying it was because I was wearing hijab, it most definitely could have been a coincidence, maybe I only said hello to extremely shy people today.  Haha.

I was walking along the front of the store after grabbing the few things I needed and it just so happened that the only open register that was empty was with a Middle-Eastern guy donning a beaming smile, LOL!  I was thinking, “Oh gosh, what if he says something to me in Arabic or another language I don’t understand, I’ll feel bad.”  Sure enough he greets me with “Assalaam Alaikum” in which my reply is supposed to be “Wa Alaikum assalaam” if you don’t want to be rude, but I knew I couldn’t pronounce it, I’m only familiar with a few phrases typed & familiar with when they’re said. LOL! SO, I replied, “Um, I, er, I’m not Muslim.” He just continued to stare at me as he was putting my groceries in bags. I elaborated, “Today is World Hijab Day and I’m supporting my friends. Many people see hijab as oppression & it’s a part of religious freedom.” Then he got all excited and agreed saying that if you choose it, it’s freedom.

He started talking about his Islamic background, his homeland, and how he is now a Pagan. Then he paused and said(even though I made it clear a moment ago, LOL), “So, how long have you been a convert?” I replied trying not to laugh, “Um, I’m not a convert, I’m not Muslim, I’m a Pentecostal Christian supporting my Muslim friends.” He looked a bit curious and confused and I continued to briefly talk about how I’m an admin to a Facebook group called “Children of Adam” and our goal is to have all religions come together in peace and understanding and to assist in eliminating stereotypes that the media likes to feed us.” He seemed very pleased once again, beaming. I swear it was like the sun was behind his teeth. LOL!  So yea, that was my experience today.  🙂

Here is a close-up photo of me & my Catholic friend who is also supporting World Hijab Day today.