A Trending Experiment With Falling In Love

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I figured if I was going to spend my time confronting this trending article(at least it seems to be trending on Facebook) on a few friend’s posts, I might as well make it official and transfer my thoughts into a blog before the CPU within me becomes worn of this subject, right?  Too bad!  I’m going to go ahead and do it instead of waiting for your response, haha.

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http://tinyurl.com/mmmd86p )

The woman who wrote about this experiment shared her perspective and her actual personal experience.  Her having a great personal experience with such an approach is fantastic, but not likely to create stable, long-lasting relationships the majority of the time in my mind for a few discomfiting reasons.

I honestly didn’t identify this experiment as anything too fascinating.  I say this simply because this article represented a nice realization that we can all feel close to each other as human beings, like we should all naturally do in the first place with each other, but barriers like societal assumptions, work and technology nourish the consequence, i.e., us all becoming very strange to each other. The more that worldly things take over our lives (like technology), the more amazing it will all seem when we partake in such an experiment as this, making it seem like we attain a much more profound connection with somebody else.

When I read this article, flashes of the animated movies “Frozen” and “Wall-E” came to mind.  “Frozen” came to mind because such a process reminds me of when the little sister is pretty much cooped up in the castle most of her life trying to reach out to her older sister, and then once they have this grand even at their castle, when she talks with the first guy who gives her obvious attention, she instantly falls madly in love with him, simply because he’s charismatic and they have a couple things in common, not to mention she has focused most of her life on her sister which makes their meeting seem so much more intense. This last reason is why I think of “Wall-E” as well.  All those silly humans planting their faces on those screens 99.99% of their lives, being consumed only by the technology right in front of their noses, that when they finally look away(to another human being for example), what they see and experience seems wildly and overwhelmingly grand.

I think the more our word develops, the more shocking such reactions will become and it will come to a point where we’ll crave it so badly and think it’s so super special that we automatically think it’s falling IN love or TRUE love.  I think it’s awesome how this psychologist helps people realize everyone else is just as deep as themselves, helps us care about each other through the opportunities of developing compassion for them, but I don’t think these things equal true love/being in love. I see it as just respecting, accepting, and feeling for the human race as a whole, something basic that nearly all of us lack in some ways.

I’m definitely not partial to the idea that there is no very special connection between someone in love according to the one presenting this research. If it was truly special, it would be impossible to happen with anybody else, or at least very many people at all, at least in my views.  I’m also concerned with the placebo effect such an experiment can have on many people.  As many of us realize, when a product is hyped-up enough(especially when it comes to something as enticing and important as love), we can feel like we’re getting a high when in reality, we just got a needle full of diluted sugar.  The beauty of psychology!  We desire love to be sweet, but it indeed needs to amount to more than a sprinkle of sugar in our lives.

These are the reasons I think this experiment wouldn’t be very effective for long for most people.  In summary, I think this is more about our lack of general connectivity with the human race, and after that matter, it’s about whether or not being in love is truly special. If you believe it’s not very special at all, then you’ll likely believe it can happen with nearly every being we can lay eyes on.

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Donald Sterling Who?

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“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

Apparently this Donald Sterling thing is pretty big right now. I don’t feel comfortable with such a bright spotlight being precisely adjusted onto a single individual. Though, I understand why racism itself is an issue, of course. In America, racism has diminished greatly in general thank goodness, but it still exists. I think we need to wear down the edges before attacking all the layers of the source. I think one of our issues as Americans or maybe humans all together as an entirety, is that many ideas are thrown out of proportion or exaggerated, either because we have trouble remembering that others have varying thinking processes and varying upbringings, or because we hear what we want to hear in order to propel our passionate mission against racism. Having a mission against racism is a great idea, but often our approaches are structured poorly and we focus too much on our own ways of perceiving and breaking thoughts and actions down.

There are many little underlying factors unaccounted for that are anthropological or psychological that are hardly touched, which is an article or blog post in itself. You can’t know all the layers of a person or all the layers of a person’s opinion unless you are them. This is basic elementary assessment, correct? Well that’s okay, a rotten foundation is the ultimate err in most life situations, but the awesome thing is that we can eventually rebuild these things better every time with the more introspection and practice we have. Speaking of factors unaccounted for, someone I know brought up statistics recently that prove that white people empathize with lighter-skinned people more than darker-skinned people. I think some people may be looking at this in the wrong angle, I’ve seen this brought up before on another website in the past and made the same conclusion.

First of all, let me add that this research does not at all prove that the average person is incapable of empathizing with those of the same skin color, but that it is simply easier to empathize with someone who has the same skin color as ourselves. This may be exaggerated into the most narrow ways, but people who are easily perceived to be more like ourselves in general, no matter how insignificant or obvious the characteristics, are easier to empathize with and relate to. This trickles down to more than just empathy as well, it’s natural for us to establish positive feelings of any sort to those who simply seem more like ourselves, nothing more. Hopefully we can put all that behind us now and continue chipping away at racism.

My opinion is that doing something as simple as using someone’s skin color, something you can’t even control, in a sentence with negative implications qualifies you as a racist, which is what Sterling did. Though, people like this need our love and patience the most. A friend of mine asked me if Sterling should have his position taken away from him and cease to be the manager of the L.A, Clippers. Well, there are lots of bad people in charge, everyone has flaws about them, everyone sins, so you might as well demote nearly everyone who is in charge of anything in my opinion. It depends on if he’s causing harm or not. If these are merely his opinions of certain people that just happened to be caught on tape because he was sharing with someone close to him, then it shouldn’t be blown up like this in the media. Many of us keep awful secrets to ourselves, people can go an entire lifetime knowing someone without knowing some of their friend’s or their leader’s awful truths. If he showed his blatant racism through actions, that would be a different story.

Donald Sterling is not racism. Racism is racism. Now, let’s keep focus on entire ideas or actions that threaten our lives, not on silly individuals. Let’s inform ourselves and educate peacefully. 🙂

Words Hold Immense Power Because Society Told You So

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You cannot tell someone how to aesthetically present themselves, you cannot tell someone how to use a word, you cannot tell anyone these things with any rationalization. It doesn’t matter what race you are, you do not have the right of any influence whatsoever. It doesn’t matter what culture you’re imbedded in, you can dress whatever style you please and use whatever label you so choose. People, you have the freedom to choose to be a good person and also choose to use words in harmless ways. What you put into a word is all that’s there, the rest is in the imagination. Do not let words have power over you or assume your words have power over others. Too many people are skiddish with words, words that some ancestor a thousand years ago made up or words random teenagers made up a couple decades ago.

Words are empty and a person has the right to instill their own personal angle into any word they please. Yes, I’m referring to words that are usually dubbed as potentially offensive, words that were whipped up by imperfect humans, or meanings & intentions that strangers strive to stuff your face with- acting as if you put it all there yourself. People either use their own interpretations of words for harmless fun or to think outside the box with good intentions. Yes, there are people out there who do it sarcastically or to troll, but we have no clue which ones. Why continue to strangle each other with words that are man-made? Why do we limit ourselves to this? Why can’t we turn our focus to the things that truly matter, people who hold for us that mysterious thing called love or life-threatening events in our country or other countries that are laughing at us behind our backs right now?

If you cut out letters of a word from a newspaper and scattered them on a desk, that word has no power, correct?  If you aligned these letters together to make sense, that word still holds no power.  If someone walks by, sees that word on the desk and reads it out loud, that word still holds no power.  Don’t ever let people who only see in black and white, who think only inside a small box that they have let society build for them, who live to sniff out every obscure crevice for a sign of potentially imperfect intentions tell you what actions to take or tell you specific ways you should be feeling through these words.

Know that only you know your true intentions, and that is all that will ever matter.

Understanding possible reasons for some seemingly hateful Christians

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“The reason why the world lacks unity, and lies broken and in heaps, is, because man is disunited with himself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What troubles me & is difficult to admit for me since I believe in God is that from experience, the majority of people I come across who are filled with the most hate(seemingly) are people who call themselves Christians. It’s ironic & we need to fix it.  There could be many reasons why so much hate is in the atmosphere of my community & it’s not entirely the average individual Christian’s fault.  The media does a bang-up job in propelling negative stereotypes & being a major influence of what disunites humanity as a whole.

When it comes to mending something so crucial, or mending a mass, it’s always best to mend from the inside out.  If we don’t sincerely dig deep enough within ourselves, we’ll just continue recreating low-quality shells of ourselves.  We can be solid, intricately put together from nail, to frame, to roof, to plumbing, to furnishings.  We need this.  We ARE society.  Every single one of us is what’s wrong with society, just to varying degrees of error.  We don’t have to be Christian, Jewish, Atheist, or Muslim to do so, renewing the world through this.  Though, since my experience with a very large quantity of fellow Christians is how this post began, let’s analyze the possibilities of why my experience/opinion could have some solid truth to it.

The unique pressure.   Well, each of us are nowhere near perfect & we all have to deal with many sorts of pressures, but maybe the pressures on a Christian can be of a larger mass in certain aspects & not the sort of pressure non-believers or people with some other beliefs can really relate to which can weigh down the pressure even further.  We’ve all heard the cut & dry, “If you don’t accept God & Jesus into your heart, you will burn for all eternity.”.   I realize this can really give us Christians the overall feeling of doom, needing to perfect every facet of ourselves, & rushing to help save the souls of the ones we deeply care for by teaching the love of God.  Not many people in this world outside of certain communities have to fret about such an immense concept & the idea can really get to your head if you don’t approach things the right way & find peace through God.  This can lead to it all completely backfiring, causing chaos within us & emanating it into the atmosphere we share with everybody else.

Blurring the line between walking down a Godly path & acting exactly like God.  There is a difference between submersing yourself in a Godly atmosphere & then partaking in actions & thoughts that only God has a right to.  Yes, I’m speaking of being judgmental or condemning others.  It’s perfectly fine to notice a wrong in someone, a sin, & then steering away from it & praying for the person.  Heck, you can even walk right up to the person & explain why you are so uncomfortable, but be prepared if they are not ready to hear it & want nothing to do with what you believe or present to them.  This is where I notice many of us Christians not being able to let that go.  Sometimes we push & push(sometimes ending in frustration & name-calling) so much that they’re even more turned off by the idea of God & the Christian community than they were before you even started the conversation, or should I say CONVERTsation?  Haha.  😉  This is okay in one perspective, afterall, we’re just having great intentions & spreading God’s word, correct?  That’s not the problem though & this fact only nourishes the self instead of others.  The problem is the APPROACH itself, nothing more.

From what I recall of the Bible, when Jesus spread the word, he was very mild, approachable, humble, loving, peaceful, & understanding.  I often do not see a single one of these traits while a believer & non-believer are clashing in a conversation.  I’m sure God & Jesus also knew/know when a person is not ready to accept.  We are often told this all the time in church with receiving the gift of tongues for example, “You just have to be ready, it’s okay that you’re not ready yet, you will be ready soon.”.  Maybe we need to keep that in mind more when dealing with non-believers?

We’re so passionately devoted that we gush & overflow sometimes.   This is another example of a good thing & a no-so-good thing.  Being this way inspires ourselves & empowers ourselves.  In short, it makes us happy feeling God’s presence, being so thankful toward Him, & wanting the world to know how great He is.  Not only does this make US feel invigorated, but also those who relate to us in that way.  Imagine that you’re a teenage boy & have a best gal pal whose family is culturally-unique compared to what you’re used to & throws a big vivacious party for your gal pal all because she started her monthly for the first time & she wants you to come, of course.  Not only does her family celebrate her womanhood with such gaiety, they overdo it with all sorts of quirky games that have a theme loosely relating to her, um, event.  As a boy, you don’t really care about what is happening because in your mind this will never happen to you, it has nothing to do with you, it’s practically foreign.  You’re also an adolescent which in my point is representing the youth, the naivety, the seed that hasn’t sprouted.  The non-believer being the teenage boy, the believer being the teenage girl.

In other words, we can be very overwhelming which automatically turns certain people off obviously.  If that isn’t enough, if & when we witness someone commit a sin for the hundredth time while rolling around in their elation, we can end up projecting ourselves onto that person, as if they should fully know better.  When I say we’re “so passionately devoted”, I mean that we experience such great results in having a close relationship with God & doing things that make our Father happy, that when someone near us commits what we see as an atrocity, we can feel as if that person is in some way raining on our parade with their spit.  We are so used to our ways & know fully how good it can be, that we can see others as merely passing up the most amazing opportunity of their lives without even flinching, which can lead to some impulsive explosions from us.

Ok, so this information is nothing new for a lot of people.  My point here was simply to have this as a reminder for us all & having you guys see it through the tint of my lens specifically.  All of this just comes down to tolerance & working even harder at setting ourselves aside to let God take care of the details that are meant for Him alone.  Tolerance & love need to be more than just Band-Aids for us.  We as a human race(not just Christians) need to let tolerance & love mend us from the inside out till we are completely renewed.  With the help of God & our willingness to receive, absolutely anything is possible.  If you would like me to clear something up(maybe I worded something in an odd way that offended you or confused you), add to this post, or go further into detail with me with specific verses from the Bible, just type away in the comment section!   Thank you for letting me waste your time!  🙂

Twist of humor on a serious issue between our relationships

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I guess it’s true that most people act like they love you a lot more after you die. I just saw the proof with my own eyes. The Morgan Freeman Facebook page has only over 7million Likes while the Paul Walker page has over 20million Likes.
People are rough, real rough.  😉

Back to the serious note, it cannot be stressed enough that we should all partake in showing our gratitude & love toward the ones we care about or even strangers a little more.  You may believe that you show it enough in your own way, but I think we all need reminded sometimes that every person perceives things a bit differently, which isn’t their fault, or anybody’s fault for that matter.  It depends on our cognitive functions.  It’s how each one of us is built.  It won’t hurt much to be a bit more obvious in displaying your love & care, at least not as much as it will hurt when they leave this life before you got the chance to do so.

We are all filled with imperfections though.  I’ve witnessed every single person in my life regret many things they said or shouldn’t have said when a loved one dies, almost as if it’s a mandatory burden for us humans.  Just because we didn’t grab the moment when we could have, it doesn’t mean dwelling on it is the answer or that dwelling can alter a single thing, it’s only even more time wasted that you could spend on loving someone.  Yes, of course, it’s easier said than done, but working on the things that matter most in life will never be easy.   🙂